Adapting to Hardship
Hardships of the Jungle: A cockroach in the juice
On the first occasion that Karina kept Jerome and me out from 5am through the breakfast hour into the late morning/lunch time, I was fatigued, hungry and thirsty, and moreover filled with resentment at Karina for having done this. How could a manager drive her “employees” to work through mealtimes and not even hint at an apology or suggest that she would make it up to us? On this occasion I was angry at Karina for having disrespected and taken advantage of me as a volunteer, merely using me as a resource, perhaps tossing me aside when I was empty of energy with which to help her more.
I think I have grown since that first occasion of “neglect.” Today Jerome and I worked very hard for Karina, until the mid-afternoon, with only breakfast squeezed in between two long sessions of climbing. It had been nearly 8 hours since our last meal, we had not taken enough water, and I had had no rest since the wee hours of the morning. My perspective on the preceding hours, and my emotions toward Karina, differed from the first occasion of hard work without rest. Yes, I was tired and hungry and very thirsty, dripping with sweat that was as bereft of salt as distilled water is. When would I finally eat and drink? Somehow, it didn’t matter as much as it did the first time.
At least part of it was the unknown or the lack thereof: experience. I knew from experience that eventually I would be able to quench my thirst and to satisfy my hunger. I knew with certainty that we eventually would return to the TRC. The first time, I was in uncharted territory, and emotionally unequipped to deal with a person who was working me beyond what I was accustomed to. Second, I had learned more about Karina, and knew that this was how she worked. She was not simply abusing me, she was getting work done while she could get it done: while the weather held out, we would accomplish as much as we could. Looking back on this experience, I am not sure that if I had been 30 years younger (like Jerome) I could have dealt with this any better. I still would have had expectations about work, about others, about my own abilities. In fact, perhaps as a 57 year old man, I know more now about what my body can accomplish, and am more able to deal with stressful situations. In retrospect, I think it has been very good to push the limits, and to be forced into uncharted territory as an older person. Perhaps experiences like this will keep me from falling too much into ruts and allow me to continue to learn and adapt as I am sure I had to do as a younger person.
Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
On the first occasion that Karina kept Jerome and me out from 5am through the breakfast hour into the late morning/lunch time, I was fatigued, hungry and thirsty, and moreover filled with resentment at Karina for having done this. How could a manager drive her “employees” to work through mealtimes and not even hint at an apology or suggest that she would make it up to us? On this occasion I was angry at Karina for having disrespected and taken advantage of me as a volunteer, merely using me as a resource, perhaps tossing me aside when I was empty of energy with which to help her more.
I think I have grown since that first occasion of “neglect.” Today Jerome and I worked very hard for Karina, until the mid-afternoon, with only breakfast squeezed in between two long sessions of climbing. It had been nearly 8 hours since our last meal, we had not taken enough water, and I had had no rest since the wee hours of the morning. My perspective on the preceding hours, and my emotions toward Karina, differed from the first occasion of hard work without rest. Yes, I was tired and hungry and very thirsty, dripping with sweat that was as bereft of salt as distilled water is. When would I finally eat and drink? Somehow, it didn’t matter as much as it did the first time.
At least part of it was the unknown or the lack thereof: experience. I knew from experience that eventually I would be able to quench my thirst and to satisfy my hunger. I knew with certainty that we eventually would return to the TRC. The first time, I was in uncharted territory, and emotionally unequipped to deal with a person who was working me beyond what I was accustomed to. Second, I had learned more about Karina, and knew that this was how she worked. She was not simply abusing me, she was getting work done while she could get it done: while the weather held out, we would accomplish as much as we could. Looking back on this experience, I am not sure that if I had been 30 years younger (like Jerome) I could have dealt with this any better. I still would have had expectations about work, about others, about my own abilities. In fact, perhaps as a 57 year old man, I know more now about what my body can accomplish, and am more able to deal with stressful situations. In retrospect, I think it has been very good to push the limits, and to be forced into uncharted territory as an older person. Perhaps experiences like this will keep me from falling too much into ruts and allow me to continue to learn and adapt as I am sure I had to do as a younger person.
Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
posted by Christian Hellwig at 12:28 PM
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