Reflections
As I approaached the bar yesterday evening before dinner, Ms. Never-at-a-Loss-for-Words got my attention and asked me how much longer I was going to be at TRC. She wondered aloud how sad I might be to leave such a place after so many new experiences. This set me to contemplating, while she continued to jabber, how deep the depression would be that I would likely slip into once I returned home. Having experienced such a rich time here, how bored and dull would my regular life be in California?
Brace yourself. For starters, I have met someone I really like. I would say “love”, but I don’t know what love is. I have shared many enjoyable times with Jerome – some have been simply fun or interesting, while others have been, I guess, sensuous, caring, and even painful. Every day has been accented by my anticipation of seeing him and talking with him and listening to his accent and touching him. This anticipation has been followed by realization several times every day, and I am so grateful for this, and I am disappointed and saddened on the occasions when it is not. More, I respond to the ease and self-assurance and sometimes uncertainty he brings to each encounter with me. I don’t think I am a monster to him: maybe only a curiosity, but I think more. As I leave Jerome here, I anticipate feeling an emptiness that may not go away for some time. I am sad when I think that the emotions Jerome has let me feel here and given me the freedom to express openly may not find a replacement outlet for a long time.
I have learned about a whole new group of birds. Admittedly my knowledge of parrots is not very deep, but I am enriched by what little I now understand about their biology and their environmental plight. Knowing about their physiology, ecology, and life history increases my understanding of birds in general and will allow me to function at a higher level in my job on Alcatraz.
I have learned how to climb trees, and have become somewhat comfortable dangling from a thin rope 100 feet above the ground, something I had never thought possible.
I have walked and breathed and become mired in muck in the Amazon rainforest, a region that I was not formerly familiar with and that I didn’t know I would ever have a chance to visit. I know the beauty of this region and the richness that it brings to the planet. I have begun to understand the magnitude of the environmental problems that would be caused by its destruction, which, by the way, continues.
I have lived in a foreign culture for 6 weeks. Ways of behavior that formerly seemed strange and utterly different from my own now feel a bit more familiar and I feel a bit more at home. I have learned enough of a language that I can function at a basic level (thank you to Edwin for that).
It will be difficult for me to reimmerse myself in my own culture, and without doubt I will look for more opportunities to challenge myself in the future.
Brace yourself. For starters, I have met someone I really like. I would say “love”, but I don’t know what love is. I have shared many enjoyable times with Jerome – some have been simply fun or interesting, while others have been, I guess, sensuous, caring, and even painful. Every day has been accented by my anticipation of seeing him and talking with him and listening to his accent and touching him. This anticipation has been followed by realization several times every day, and I am so grateful for this, and I am disappointed and saddened on the occasions when it is not. More, I respond to the ease and self-assurance and sometimes uncertainty he brings to each encounter with me. I don’t think I am a monster to him: maybe only a curiosity, but I think more. As I leave Jerome here, I anticipate feeling an emptiness that may not go away for some time. I am sad when I think that the emotions Jerome has let me feel here and given me the freedom to express openly may not find a replacement outlet for a long time.
I have learned about a whole new group of birds. Admittedly my knowledge of parrots is not very deep, but I am enriched by what little I now understand about their biology and their environmental plight. Knowing about their physiology, ecology, and life history increases my understanding of birds in general and will allow me to function at a higher level in my job on Alcatraz.
I have learned how to climb trees, and have become somewhat comfortable dangling from a thin rope 100 feet above the ground, something I had never thought possible.
I have walked and breathed and become mired in muck in the Amazon rainforest, a region that I was not formerly familiar with and that I didn’t know I would ever have a chance to visit. I know the beauty of this region and the richness that it brings to the planet. I have begun to understand the magnitude of the environmental problems that would be caused by its destruction, which, by the way, continues.
I have lived in a foreign culture for 6 weeks. Ways of behavior that formerly seemed strange and utterly different from my own now feel a bit more familiar and I feel a bit more at home. I have learned enough of a language that I can function at a basic level (thank you to Edwin for that).
It will be difficult for me to reimmerse myself in my own culture, and without doubt I will look for more opportunities to challenge myself in the future.
posted by Christian Hellwig at 12:03 PM
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